Dilate

untouchable face

think i’m going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
don’t want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy, y' know
if you weren’t already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she’s not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it
but you’re perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can’t even tell me that much

two-thirty in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
a safe haven of sleepless
where the deep fryer’s always on
and the radio is counting down
the top twenty country songs
and out on the porch the fly strip
is waving like a flag in the wind
y'know, i don’t look forward
to seeing you again
you’ll look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won’t know what to do
and i won’t know what to say

except fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can’t even tell me that much

i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there’s a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there’s a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can’t even tell me that much

outta me, on to you

it’s gonna be sudden
it’s gonna be strange
i’m gonna turn on a dime
and give you five cents change
it’s gonna be long overdue
it’s all gonna come out
outta me, onto you

one of these days
you’re gonna push too hard
we’ll go on like we’ve always done
'til you go too far
yeah one of these days
it’s gonna reach the top
then it’s gonna start to spill
and it’s not gonna stop
some people wear their smile
like a disguise
those people who smile a lot
watch the eyes
i know it 'cuz i’m like that a lot
you think everything’s o.k.
and it is
‘til it’s not

some people wear their heart
up on their sleeve
i wear mine underneath
my right pant leg
strapped to my boot
don’t think ‘cuz i’m easy, i’m naive
don’t think i won’t pull it out
don’t think i won’t shoot

most people like to talk a lot
including you
there isn’t much i have to say
that i wouldn’t rather
just shut up and do
and i’m gonna miss you
when you’re gone
yeah i’m gonna be torn
just remember that i love you
just remember you were warned

superhero

sleep walking through the all-nite drug store
baptized in fluorescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
‘cuz you’ve been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let’s just say that
things look different now
different in so many ways

i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else

if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there’s the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down

i used to be a superhero
no one could hurt me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else

yeah you’ve been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i’m a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
and don’t say my strength and daring
‘cuz now i think i’m at your mercy
and it’s my first time for this kind of thing

i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
but you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else

dilate

life used to be life-like
now it’s more like show biz
i wake up in the night
and i don’t know where the bathroom is
and i don’t know what town i’m in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i
don’t have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and you’re mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you’re it this time
baby, you’re it this time

when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame
you always disappoint me
it’s kinda like our running joke
but it’s really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i’m so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate

so i'll walk the plank
and i'll jump with a smile
if i’m gonna go down
i’m gonna do it with style
and you won’t see me surrender
you won’t hear me confess
‘cuz you’ve left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me
that’s what defines me

when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation
is i am in love with you
and it is no fun
but i don’t use words like love
‘cuz words like that don’t matter
but don’t look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i’m better
off alone

amazing grace

amazing grace
how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
i once was lost
but now i’m found
was blind but now i see

'twas grace that taught
my heart to fear
and grace that fear relieved
how precious did
that grace appear
the hour i first believed

through many dangers
toils and snares
i have already come
‘twas grace that brought me
safely thus far
and grace will lead me home

and when this heart
and flesh shall fail
and mortal life shall cease
i shall possess
within the vale
a life of joy and peace

napoleon

they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
and you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
will you miss your old friends
once you’ve proven what you’re worth
yeah i wonder
when you’re a big star
will you miss the earth

i knew you would always want more
i knew you would never be done
‘cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
but you must make a killing
a killing

i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
‘cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

now you think, so that is
the way it’s gonna be
that’s what this is all about
and i think that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there’s a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride

and i guess that you dialed my number
‘cuz you thought for sure that i’d agree
and i say baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me

everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

shameless

i cannot name this
i cannot explain this
and i really don’t want to
just call me shameless
i can’t even slow this down
let alone stop this
and i keep looking around
but i cannot top this

if i had any sense
i guess i'd fear this
i guess i’d keep it down
so no one would hear this
i guess i’d shut my mouth
and rethink a minute
but i can’t shut it now
'cuz there’s something in it

we’re in a room without a door
and i am sure without a doubt
they’re gonna wanna know
how we got in here
and they’re gonna wanna know
how we plan to get out
we better have a good explanation
for all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
and they are going to be mad
yeah they’re going to be mad at us

this is my skeleton
this is the skin it’s in
that is, according to light
and gravity
i'll take off my disguise
the mask you met me in
'cuz i got something
for you to see
just gimme your skeleton
give me the skin it’s in
yeah baby, this is you
according to me
i never avert my eyes
i never compromise
so never mind
the poetry

i gotta cover my butt 'cuz i covet
another man's wife
i gotta divide my emotions
into wrong and right
then i get to see how close i can get to it
without giving in
then i get to rub up against it
‘til i break the skin
rub up against it
‘til i break the skin

they’re gonna be mad at us
they’re gonna be mad at me and you
they’re gonna be mad at us
and all the things
we wanna do

just please don’t name this
please don’t explain this
just blame it all on me
say i was shameless
say i couldn’t slow it down
let alone stop it
and say you just hung around
'cuz you couldn’t top it

done wrong

the wind is ruthless
the trees shake angry fingers at the sky
the people hunch their shoulders
hold their collars over their ears and run by
it’s a cold rain
it’s a hard rain
like the kind you find in songs
i guess that makes me the jerk with the heartache
here to sing to you about how i been done wrong

i am sitting, watching
out the window of the coffee shop
and i’m waiting, waiting
waiting for it to let up
i am rocking like a cradle
warming my hands with the cup in between
i am leaning over the table
holding my face over the steam

and before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there’s just a couple things
i’d like to know

like how could you do nothing
and say, i’m doing my best
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest
how could you beg me to stay
reach out your hands and plead
and then pack up your eyes and run away
as soon as i agreed

it just all slips
away so slowly
you don’t even notice ‘til you’ve lost a lot
i've been like one of those zombies
in vegas
pouring quarters into a slot
and now i’m tired
and i am broke
and i feel stupid and i feel used
and i’m at the end of my little rope
and i am swinging back and forth
about you

before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there’s just a couple things
i’d like to know

going down

you can’t get through it
you can’t get over it
you can’t get around

just like in a dream
you’ll open your mouth to scream
and you won’t make a sound

you can’t believe your eyes
you can’t believe your ears
you can’t believe your friends
you can’t believe you’re here

and you’re not gonna get through it
so you are going down

i put a cup out on the window sill
to catch the water as it fell
now i got a glass half full of rain
to measure the time between
when you said you’d come
and when you actually came

little mister limp dick
is up to his old tricks
and thought he’d call me
one last time
but i’m just about done
with the oh-woe-is-me shit
and i want everything back
that’s mine

adam and eve

tonight you stooped to my level
i am your mangy little whore
now you’re trying to find your underwear
and then your socks and then the door
and you’re trying to find a reason
why you have to leave
but i know it’s 'cuz you think you’re adam
and you think i’m eve

you rhapsodize about beauty
and my eyes glaze
everything i love is ugly
i mean really, you would be amazed
just do me a favor
it’s the least that you can do
just don’t treat me like i am
something that happened to you

i am truly sorry about all this

you put a tiny pin prick
in my big red balloon
and as i slowly start to exhale
that’s when you leave the room
i did not design this game
i did not name the stakes
i just happen to like apples
and i am not afraid of snakes

i am truly sorry about all this
i envy you your ignorance
i hear that it’s bliss

so i let go the ratio
of things said to things heard
as i leave you to your garden
and the beauty you preferred
and i wonder what of this
will have meaning for you
when you’ve left it all behind
i guess i'll even wonder
if you meant it
at the time

joyful girl

i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it’s the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
and i do it just because i want to
because i want to

everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way
no, well o.k. then
don’t cry

i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know there’s no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know